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Gombeen #8: Paul Williams & Paul Reynolds

By: 
Rabble.ie
 
Illustration by Redmonk

Illustration by Redmonk

 

For their consistent and dogged determination in spinning crime to fit the warped narrative of Garda HQ we’re splitting the award between the two Pauls.

 

Both of course are well known to the Gardaí. The Tosser and The Hyper. Williams’ stock in trade is the late 70’s shtick, coppers sliding across car bonnets, kicking down doors and shouting “‘E’s got a shooter!’ and “‘Ave it, you caant!”.

Reynolds gets his jollies from Inspector Morse’s side of the tracks. He gets choked up relating how decent ‘University Graduates’ could have found themselves in a situation where they’re standing over their cousin with a shovel in a ditch. Won’t somebody think of the children, in Clongowes, Marian?

Whether the camera is panning on broken glass-strewn streets and chungfellas in tracksuits or leafy suburbs and forensics examiners swabbing Volvo estates, the gospel remains the same. The reading this week is from a letter from St.Guard to the Hibernians. The ‘scumbags’ are the ones to worry about. Don’t look over there that’s just a bank or a politician or an oil company, look back here at the thin blue line, despite all the efforts of the PC brigade, doing their best to keep you from harm.

From Rossport to Raphoe, Schull to Boyle and Abbeylara to Dame Street there’s a whole population that has been let down by lazy journalists. Enough.

Posted Date: 
12 May 2014